She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
