You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
