Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
