i think my tv is drunk
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
