Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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