Nicole vs. Life
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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