the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I party with great urgency now.
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