There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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