Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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