last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
