My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
