I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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