dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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