The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
