I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize
