Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
