In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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