The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
