You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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