I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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