well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
