Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
There was a lot of him and a little penis
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
