do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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