please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
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