So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
