Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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