wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Randomize
