So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
