ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
