Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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