I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
