He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
