it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
