Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
3pm strippers are depressing
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
