Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
