I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
