remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Fuck me I smell like cheese
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
