I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
