Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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