i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
im holly from the hills drunk
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
