I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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