I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
