We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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