I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
