i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
