so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
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