Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
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