margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
