I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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