He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
