Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
COCAINE IS GR8
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
