Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
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