Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
