remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
